Stop the World
by Mrpointyhorns
Summary: Craig throws a party the same day as Cartman’s Birthday. Eric finds the prefect way to get revenge, but he soon finds that he cannot stop. Craig/Tweek, Stan/Kyle, and a kiss between Kyle and Tweek


Title: Stop the World.

Author: Mrpointyhorns aka Blemery

Author's Email: K

Status: Complete

Part: 1/1

Pairings: Craig/Tweek, Stan/Kyle, and a kiss between Kyle and Tweek

Spoilers: none. 

Summary: Craig throws a party the same day as Cartman's Birthday. Eric finds the prefect way to get revenge, but he soon finds that he cannot stop. 

Author's Notes: My imagination is a crazy place.

Beta: None.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Matt and Trey. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

--

"Are you sure you handed out all of your invitations sweetie?" Mrs. Cartman set down a slice of her semi-famous cake. It was the thirty-third slice that she had served her son. The cake was made to serve over sixty people, and Eric was determined to not waste a bite.

"I swear I did Mam'. I don't know what happened." Eric looked really upset. It was his birthday and the date used to bring him such joy, but today his party was ruined. He could not understand what happened. Everyone sounded excited when he handed out the invitations; no one could resist his Mom's cooking.

Mrs. Cartman kissed her son on the cheek sympathetically. "I wouldn't worry about it, Eric-honey." She then returned to cleaning the kitchen. She packed up most of the food she prepared in containers. If she had time she would bring most of it over to the shelter in one of the neighboring towns. Food was still the best way into a man's heart and pants.

Eric pushed away his slice of cake and stood up. "Mam is it okay if I stop eating?" He looked absolutely crushed. He could not believe that Kenny and even Butters forgot about his Birthday. 

"I'll just put it in the freeze, and put some in your lunch for tomorrow," Mrs. Cartman promised. She kissed his forehead once more hoping to make him feel better.

The young teenager wanted to go into the living room to mope, but something propelled him out the door. He wandered down the street, and walked up and down the block. It was nearly an hour before he looked up from his pathetic trance and realized that he was across the street from Craig's house. 

Cartman grumbled a little, the walk home was not a short distances, yet he had to trek it in order to crawl into bed with a bag of cheesy poofs. He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket and turned around. He only made it a few steps when he realized something was off.

Something was going on at Craig's house. The brunette unsure of what was going on but knowing it was not right approached the door to his peer's house. He peeked inside the window to the right of the door and his jaw dropped open.

Inside Craig's house was the over-sixty people that Cartman had invited to his party, including his 'gang', his best friend, and Butters. He could not believe it. Craig planned his party on the same night as Eric's Birthday. Cartman was pissed.

Not bothering to knock, Eric kicked open the eighth grade's door and stormed in the house. There were kids dancing in the family room, and other drinking in the kitchen, and still others playing spin the bottle in the living room.

"What the hell is going on here?" Eric yelled so loud that the entire house went quiet. Someone even shut the sound system off. The rightist glared around the rooms until he spotted Craig standing in the middle of the dance floor.

Eric stormed over to the other boy, and some felt minor quakes as he pounded his feet against the wood floor boards. "You planned your party on the same night as my Birthday! You ass! How the hell could you do that?"

Craig automatically flipped Eric off. He dropped his finger before speaking, "Sorry Cartman, I totally forgot your Birthday was tonight."

"You forgot it was myah Birthday? Myah? It's only been the same day for the last fourteen years! God you're such a fag! I gave you an invitation two weeks ago," Cartman explained.

"Yeah well I handed out my invitations three weeks ago," Craig explained, "And I sent everyone a Myspace announcement. So, I think maybe your Birthday was on the same night as my party."

"My Birthday is the same day every year!" Cartman screamed. He turned bright red and looked like he was going to kill. Before anyone could intervene, he took a deep breath and the coloring subsided. "Craig you better watch your back, cause you messed with the wrong kids Birthday. You wouldn't know how, and you wouldn't know when, but I'm going to get you back for this."

"Whatever, if you don't want to stay there's the door. Don't let it hit you," Craig turned the stereo back up. He grabbed hold of the blond he was dancing with and continued to do so.

Cartman narrowed his eyes on the pair before storming back out into the night. He had some planning to do. The normal revenge would just not cut it. He had to think of something new, something unique.

He blew off most of his steam on the way home, and was ready to think clearly by the time he got to his room. He jumped on the internet and started to look up ways to seek revenge on another person. But nothing was good enough, not even tying Craig to the back of a pick-up and dragging him around town until his head fell off.

Just when he was going to turn off the computer and sleep on it, something came to him. Yahoo!News had a video clip some kids took of a gnome. The clip was shadowy, and most likely a fake, but Cartman knew someone who would rather be safe then sorry when it came to gnomes. And he now knew the perfect way to seek his revenge on Craig. He was going to use Tweek Tweak to crush the coolest guy in the eighth grade. 

It would take some help, some planning, and time, but eventually Craig would be less then a shell, and possible Cartman could use his revenge to give him an edge on the social ladder. Maybe by the time he reached High School people would learn that Eric Cartman was not a person that anyone wanted to mess with. 

The brunette stayed up to smooth out his plan. He knew who was going to help him and what he was going to do; the only thing Cartman did not realize was how good it was going to feel when he got his revenge. He only knew one thing, he could not stop until he did it right.

"I'll get you back Crag. I'll get you and your whole gang if that is what it will take to finally bring you down. You'll get what's coming to you. No one misses Eric Cartman's Birthday, and no one skips out on my Mom's cooking, ever."

--

Tweek Tweak knew he had irrational fears. He knew he was uncommonly nervous. He knew that he needed help. At the same time he was also aware that irrational things made him afraid, that uncommon things made him nervous, and that he had help that did not always work. So even though he was aware that he was basically a freak, he also knew he had no way of ever becoming normal.

Sometimes he thought it was okay being a freak. Craig always said he liked him better like that anyway, although he always encouraged Tweek when the blond wanted to seek help. It was always a process for Tweek to actually get help because he was afraid and nervous about asking and receiving help. Craig was always there for him whether he wanted help, or he wanted to give up.

Today he was not okay with being a freak. In fact, if he was not a freak, he was pretty sure that his day would have been completely different. 

He woke up with a dry mouth, and a headache that made him dizzy. This was normal, for him. So he crawled out of bed and went to get his morning cup of coffee. Then he jumped in the shower. He got a second cup as he went to the front door to check on the weather.

"Hmm it seems pretty chilly," He said to himself. He was going to go back inside, when he noticed a thick black video case. He looked around a few times before carefully picking it up. He shut the door as he wondered who still used VHS. He dropped the tape on the ground when he realized that no human still used them. It was something else, or someone.

Going into the kitchen he got a pair of tongs, which was really on one tong but someone decided it was a good idea to call it a pair. He used the tongs to lift the tape. Then he brought the VHS downstairs to his basement. He still had a VHS play just for these occasions. It was difficult for him to put the tape in the player with the tongs but Tweek had practiced.

It took a few minutes for the video to show anything but black, but then the color came into focus. There were trees and snow, and in between the trees in the background Tweek could see South Park. As soon as Tweek noticed all of this a shadowy figure zoomed in front of the picture. It had a point hat, and it was small and plump. It was not human. 

Tweek knew what this was. "A gnome." His eyes widened. He wanted to turn the tape off immediately but he knew this was no ordinary tape, it was a message.

So he continued to watch. The gnome crossed the screen several more times before it finally settled. Then an eerie, scratchy voice came from the gnome. At least Tweek assumed it was from the gnome, the beast did not move his lips, and it sort of sounded like the voice was coming from behind the camera, but then again maybe it was, after all what person would stick around to film a gnome. 

"Ew wonk erehw uoy evil. 

Ew nac teg ot erehw uoy peels. 

Fi uoy tnaw ot od ti yldnuos,

Uoy tsum ton ekam a peep."

"Ew nac mrah ruoy ylimaf, 

Dna ew nac etalitum ruoy sdneirf.

uoy lliw od sa ew yas,

Ro uoy nac tnuoc taht siht lliw eb eht dne."

"Ekat yreve elbaulav taht Giarc snwo.

uoy lliw evig lla fo siht ot su.

Gnirb lla fo sih sgniht otni eht sdoow,

Dna evael meht ni eht tseggib eloh ni eht tseggib eert."

At first Tweek was freaking out. He did not know what the gnome was saying. He waited for the tape to go black before rewinding it and listening to the message again. It took four and a half views before Tweek figure out that the gnome was saying every word backwards. 

Once he knew that Tweek was able to understand what the gnome wanted because he was proficient in speaking and understanding speech backwards. He had once he learned about subliminal messages in songs. But just to be certain he grabbed his voice recorder and recorded the message and played it backwards or forwards as it were. 

What he found both shocked and upset him. In order to keep his family and his friends safe it meant doing some terrible things. If Craig ever found out about what he was going to do his friend would never understand. He was very supportive but he would never believe Tweek about the message, even if he could show his friend the tape. 

Despite the consequences of his actions, Tweek knew he would have to do what the gnome, possible gnomes, wanted. He needed to keep his friends safe. It was better the Craig and the others remained safe and alive then happy with him. It was lucky for Tweek that he knew where Craig kept all of his valuables even the things that only held sentimental value.

He would have to find a way to sneak into Craig's room, get the valuables and sneak them to the biggest tree in the forest. It would be difficult, but it would be worth it, especially if he could do so without Craig realizing that it was him.

He ran upstairs and grabbed his cell phone. He took a deep breath and dialed Craig's number. He refused to keep any numbers in his phone book in case a serial killer got a hold of his phone.

"Craig? Oh god, tell me that's you!" Tweek faked one of his biggest panic attacks.

"What did you do this time Tweek? Please don't tell me you locked yourself up in the bell tower again," Tweek could hear Craig flip him off over the phone.

"Yeah let's go with that!" Tweek shrieked. He was doing a good job at panicking. He really needed to do it less. "Oh god, Craig. I have to go, Ah!" He slammed his phone shut.

He waited about five minutes. His phone rang twice and he knew Craig would come save him. Hurry upstairs he dressed and grabbed his wagon. He knew he would need it to carry all of Craig's things to the tree in the forest.

He hurried to Craig's house. He knew he had at the least an hour before Craig finally gave up looking for him. He did not want to chance anything so he wanted to be finished with this within the hour.

Craig's parents did not even say hello to Tweek when he ran upstairs. The blond knew it would be risky for Tweek's parents to see him here, it only meant that Craig would have a better chance of catching him. 

The blond went straight for under Craig's bed. He put the stacks of dirty magazines and the box of dirty DVDs into the wagon. Then he grabbed Craig's laptop. He went through his underwear drawer and grabbed his condoms and all of Craig's cash. Then he went through his closet putting in the best for Craig's clothes, shoes, and any toys he still owned. 

Tweek grabbed the step ladder and got into the vent. That's where Craig hid the things he did not want his parents to know about. There were drugs; more porn except it was guy on guy porn, and finally a few pictures of them together. Some with him and the rest of the gang usually they were doing something illegal; otherwise Craig would have hung them around his room. 

Finally there were pictures of them, together. They were always standing close, sometimes they were hugging, and sometimes they were kissing. Craig even snapped one of Tweek in his boxers. All of these pictures were very sentimental to Craig. He did not want people getting a hold of them, using them a blackmail, to make fun of them, or to hurt Tweek with them. 

Even though Tweek knew that giving these pictures to the gnomes might bring him more trouble, he felt it was worth the risk. He shoved the pictures and drugs into the wagon, and closed the vent. He took one last look around the room. He was sure he had gotten everything that was valuable. He left Craig some old clothes, his sheets and comforters, and his school supplies but that was it. 

He hurried downstairs and out of the house without spilling anything from the wagon. Then he hurried out into the woods. He knew exactly which trees the gnomes were talking about, which was probably why they picked that spot. He had a feeling the gnomes had been watching him for a long time and they were just proving it to him by picking this spot.

Tweek spent half the morning trying to shove everything into the trees hollow without breaking anything. He dragged his wagon back to his house, and hid the video tape in one of his secret hiding places. He was sure no one would ever find it.

Then he picked up the phone and called Craig again. He had to let his friend know that everything was alright. Tweek made up a story about pressure and it was quickly forgotten. Craig asked Tweek if he could come over, and the blond knew that Craig had not been home yet. Tweek was happy to discover this because Craig would not be able to blame Tweek if he remembered spending the better part of the day with his best friend, and lover.

--

Eric glanced around the road before entering the forest. He did not want anyone to see him entering the forest, especially Tweek. Although he did not think that Tweek would put two and two together, if he did Cartman would regret it.

The brunette had executed his revenge on Craig, by getting Tweek to give him all of Craig's things. He was not counting on the fact that Craig had anything that was worth any money, but he knew that Tweek would be thorough. Craig would have to build up all his little treasures again, and it might give Eric some juicy blackmail. What's more if Craig caught Tweek then Cartman would succeed in taking Craig's best friend from him, at least for the rest of the year. The revenge was gold.

Cartman had to walk deep into the woods but he finally found the tree that he was looking for. He had to travel several more feet to a bush where he hid a sled. He used that to pile on every single item that Tweek had left him. He was careful not to discard even one piece because that could be the most valuable. 

After he had everything secured, Eric had to travel home around the town of South Park so that he could not be caught by anyone. By the time he got to his house it was nearly dark. He was able to sneak inside without a problem. His mother did not ask him any questions when he dragged several piles of things up into his room.

Then Cartman began to sort. Craig's items were mostly dirty magazines, but just like Cartman thought Tweek spared nothing. There were at least six pairs of jeans and over a dozen t-shirts. He would give some of the generic stuff to Kenny, but the rest he would try to sell at a second hand store. It would not get him very much money, but Cartman knew that Craig would have to spend time and money buying new clothes and that was priceless.

There was Craig's laptop. Cartman would look over it later before taking it apart and selling the parts. Tweek put in Craig's xbox and some of the games that he still owned. He also put in a wad of money. It looked like it was nearly two hundred bucks, which was probably all of his Christmas and Birthday money from the last year.

The best things was the gay porn, the illegal drugs, Cartman thought he could even get away with posting the drug pictures up on the internet. 

The most shocking items were the pictures of Craig and Tweek, and some of just Tweek. Eric always knew that Craig was a fag, but now he had proof. It was too bad that Cartman could not use the proof against Craig. If he did Tweek would figure out what happened, or at least think that he was working with the gnomes, both of which was bad news if Craig, or goodie-goodies like Stan or Kyle found out.

Eric lay back on his bed surrounded by pictures of Tweek and Craig. In his hand he held a picture of Tweek in his boxers. They hung low on his hips, and Cartman could only imagine what happened after that, but then again Craig probably only imagined it as well, Tweek never actually did something like _that_ with Craig.

There just had to be away to use this against Craig, because while taking all of his things was nice, Eric did not think it really lived up to the revenge he promised. Craig would not even know that he was behind it. He had to do something more, something worse. He had to humiliate and crush Craig. But he could not reveal who was behind it. He was going to have to use Tweek again, but how.

"Oh!" Cartman sat up. He had a wicked grin on his face. He had an idea. It was prefect. Just the kind of revenge that Craig deserved, so maybe Tweek would suffer in the end as well, but he probably deserved it as well.

Jumping up from his bed, he crammed most of his pilfered stuff under his bed. He would have to continue his revenge early in the morning. He would not be able to get a clear shot of the gnome in the dark. Eric could hardly fall asleep because he was so eager to get started but he did.

--

Ike felt the bubbles all around him. They were floating over his nose, and clinging to his eyelashes. The bubbles covered his nipples, and even crawled in between his legs. He felt like he was floating along the clouds lighter then air. It was amazing.

Until, he actually needed air. He broke the calm serene of the bath water, and gasped for air. He swiped his hands over his eyes and smiled over at Mrs. Cartman. He grinned at the lady and sunk closer to her side of the tub.

Mrs. Cartman put one arm around Ike's shoulders leaning in close to him ready to kiss him. She took her job very seriously, and she was not opposed to Ike's age. She simply wanted to get the both of them off.

She pressed her lips to the younger boys when the bathroom door flew open and smacked against the wall. "Okay that's enough. I said ten minutes with my mam' in the bathtub, and you went over by a minute and a half."

"Poopie head!" Ike exclaimed. He still consider very smart, but he often used funny little phrases when he felt that the situation did not call for him to be intelligent.

"Whatever, come on." Eric pulled the nine-year-old out of the bath and shoved the gnome outfit at him. "Put that on and hurry." Eric left the bathroom and from the sounds of it went down stairs.

Ike blinked and looked back at Eric's mom. She was dutifully cleaning herself and Ike knew that he would not be able to go any further with her. Cartman's mom was a whore and she only worked for money, or in this case Eric. 

He put on the outfit including the pointed hat and followed Eric downstairs. They went out back into the woods. Eric chose a different location to set up the video camera before recording. Ike did not have to do much. He just waited for Eric to have him move back and forth in front of the lens. Then he stood in front of the camera, but this time he had to move his mouth so it looked like he was talking.

Eric was actually the one that did the talking, not him. But he did not do the talking on the video tape. He recorded it on a separate tape, and then played it in reverse. He did not try to disguise his voice although he did try to use a less noticeable tone and accent.

Ike listened when the tape was played. He had both a photographic and autographic memory. That meant that he could remember anything he saw or heard. It was great for school because he rarely if ever paid attention and it was good for right now. He could practically play back the encoded messages; decode only seconds after he heard it.

This time Eric said:

"We are not satisfied with your work.

We still seek revenge on you. 

We require another task,

And we want it done soon."

"We see the way Craig looks at you,

And we know how he feels.

If you want him to live,

Then you will make certain that your relationship yields."

"Do not break his heart over the phone, or in private.

We want to see it with our own two eyes.

We will watch day and night, 

And will no of any lies."

"Your rhymes suck," Ike said when Eric finally turned off the cameras.

"Shut the fuck up Ike," Eric replayed the video twice, before deciding it was perfect. "I may keep in touch with you. So don't go missing, got it."

"Yeah whatever," Ike flipped the fatter boy off. He knew he would never get his balls off with Eric's mom, but Ike knew he would not be able to decline anything the Eric offered.

--

"Oh god this is so much pressure," Tweek muttered to himself. Last night he had gotten a second video tape, it was only a week since the last, but he had never gotten his hopes up. He knew the gnomes would want more, they always wanted more. That's why they freaked him out. 

Last night they asked him to break Craig's heart, Tweek knew exactly what they wanted him to do. And he knew if he did not it might cost Craig his life. Tweek knew that no one could guarantee a persons death, except maybe Kenny's, but protecting Craig from even the smallest possibilities was important. 

He knew that Craig was going to be devastated. He also knew that he was not going to be any better off. But it was just like everything he knew. Tweek knew that he had no choice. He would rather Craig be safe and healthy, and with another guy then dead. Tweek would do almost anything for Craig. He even considered dieing for Craig. Although, he could never be sure what he considered would actually come to be, he knew that he would lay down his life for his lover's.

"You okay Tweek?" Craig's rough voice startled him. 

"AHH! God Craig, don't _do_ that," Tweek clung to the lunch table. It was the same table that he and the guys always sat. No one tried to take their table, even when it was only Tweek left to guard it, and no one tried to offer the guys a seat at another table.

"Sorry," Craig shrugged. He sat down across from the blond. Tweek noticed that the rest of their friends were there. Token and Clyde, and even Jason were also at the table. Tweek flushed a little because he hated when he did not notice things. 

It made him think about the gnomes and how he did not notice them watching him day and night, which of course called for a very sleepless night. He knew he needed to correct the situation as soon as possible so uncharacteristically Tweek jumped up on the bench where he had been sitting.

"Ahh! Oh my god!" He cried out as soon as he got a good look at how many people were eating lunch that day. He was certain there could not be this many people in the school, South Park just was not that big.

"Oh my god." He twitched a few times, but he knew he had everyone's attention. He had to do this. Taking a deep breath, he looked down at Craig who was staring at him in shock. He had never voluntarily spoken in front of a crowd before and he knew something was up.

"Craig, I umm- I have to umm stop seeing you. I mean, uh we can't be friends anymore. And we definitely cannot continue to make out in your bedrooms every Friday and I'm going to have to-to…" Tweek choked. He was unable to continued, breaking up with Craig was hard. He never wanted to do it before and he always dreaded the day that it would come. Now it was here and he could not keep the tears from his eyes.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Craig gaped still. He knew people were staring, but he did not seem to care. The fact was his gang of friends already knew about his relationship with Tweek. And most of the people that went to his party a few weeks ago had figured it out. So he was less concerned about the public outing then he was about Tweek leaving him.

"YES!" Tweek screamed. He jumped off the bench, and ran out of the room. He knew if he did not he would burst into tears. He still burst into tears, but at least no one saw him. He did not want Craig to see him cry. If Craig knew he was upset his friend would do everything he could to keep Tweek from breaking up with him, but Tweek knew that they had to break up. It was for Craig and even Tweek's own good.

The blond ran all the way to the nurse's. He told the nurse that some kids had beat him up, it happened before, and she let him stay in the nurse's station until after sixth period. Then he did not have anymore classes with Craig, so he knew he could make it through the day. By the time school was over Craig would know that he was serious, and Tweek would be able to once again feel safe. He just hoped that the gnomes did not ask for anything else. 

--

Cartman could not keep the smug grin off his face. Craig was a wreck. He was wearing old scrubs, and his mom's hand-me down sneakers. He smelled like rotting tuna because he refused to take a shower. He looked like he was not getting any sleep. And his reputation and friends were slowly deserting him. Craig was becoming a shell of his form self. The best part was Cartman knew it was his doing.

He felt so much power and control it took less then twenty-four hours for Tweek to comply with the 'gnomes' demands'. Eric was really starting to see how powerful and useful this could be. He might be able to control the entire school using Tweek. Yet, sadly Eric knew he could never do something simple. If he wanted Tweek to perform the polka in front of the school people would grow suspicious. So whatever he planned had to be something that was so odd that Tweek maybe capable of it. The only question for Cartman was what.

It took almost two weeks for Eric to find out the answer to his question. It was all because of that stupid fag Stan. Eric was waiting in line for lunch. This was actually Eric's second trip. He was planning on getting a Mr. Freezy. He could hardly wait until he felt that awesome treat dripping down the back of his throat. 

Then Stan came up. He was panting and Eric remembered that he had not sat at their table at lunch. "Cartman let me cut in front of you." Stan asked and then stepped into the spot in front of him. Eric did not think too much of it after all Stan was only making him a step further from his goal. 

"Finah, Stan, please, go right ahead," Cartman ground out. He was obviously annoyed but Stan did not seem to notice. "Where were you before?"

"I had to make up a test in History," Stan explained. He stepped forward in the line and ordered his lunch. Just as Stan was handed the lunch lady his money the raven-haired boy had a change of heart, "Can I get a Mr. Freezy as well?"

"What Stan? You don't even like those," Cartman growled. He could not believe that Stan would order a Mr. Freezy before he did. 

"Yeah, but I know Kyle probably spent lunch in the library. I'm just going to bring this to him," Stan said. He gave Cartman a little half wave with the Mr. Freezy in his hand. Cartman watched Stan leave the lunch room, supposedly to the Library. Food was not allowed in the library but the room had big windows and Stan would be able to catch Kyle's attention.

"Next," The lunch lady called.

"Yes, um sorry. I would like a Mr. Freezy," Eric said as sweetly as he could. Lunch ladies were not exactly authority figures so Eric did not feel the need to be incredibly nice to them.

"I'm sorry but we just sold the last one," the lunch lady said.

Eric looked shocked. He turned around and saw that Stan was out of the room already. He dashed after the dark-haired boy. He was getting the Mr. Freezy if it was the last thing he did. He spied Stan and Kyle at the end of the hall when he exited the lunch room. The redhead had already opened the Mr. Freezy and was basically devouring it. Eric only made it halfway down the hall when Kyle finished his ice cream.

Eric dropped to his knees and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He was completely crushed. This went beyond planning parties over his Birthday. Stan deprived him of dessert. "You're going to pay Stan Marsh." He said to himself after he recovered slightly. "Just you wait."

--

"What do you mean? How can you and Stan are not be dating?" Tweek Tweak looked absolutely panicked. He received a tape two days ago and so far he was unable to complete the task. He was worried that the gnomes were going to grow impatient and hurt him or his friends. 

Tweek knew now that the gnomes were using Tweek as a go between with the rest of the humans. They wanted to keep their existence a secret and Tweek already knew about them, so they could send him messages without blowing their cover. The only problem with this was that Tweek was being pressured into situation he had never dreamed of.

The last tape asked Tweek to break Stan's heart. The poem was a bit trickier this time, but the one line said it all:

"Yelnats Hsram sah dessorc a enil. 

Eh koot taht saw ton sih,

Dna eh tsum yap gib.

Tahw eh did si enon fo ruoy zib."

"Yelnats Hsram tsum kaerb dna truh.

Uoy tsum hsurc sih traeh.

Uoy did llew htiw giarc,

os uoy wonk ruoy trap."

"eh lliw esol tahw eh sevol tsom.

Uoy tsum ekat yawa;

sih tseb dneirf, sih evol, eht Wej!

uoy tsum yebo."

At first Tweek was worried because the gnomes were getting really bad at rhyming. The second thing he worried about was that he may have to kill Kyle, but then he realized that the message said he only had to take Kyle away from Stan, or break them up, just like he and Craig broke up. 

So far everything had been going well. He had placed a cropped picture in Stan's locker of Kyle kissing another guy. He wanted to make sure this image got through to Stan so he made several more of these pictures using different guys. 

He was just shoving the three-hundred and thirty-fourth one into the locker when Kyle caught him. He wanted to know what Tweek was doing and the blond without thinking said: "Kyle, I think I might be, oh god, in love with you. Ugh this is so much pressure. So I umm, shit, I wanted to umm-ask you out. But I know you're dating Stan, oh god-"

"I'm not dating Stan," Kyle replied. It was naturally. He and Stan were always accused of dating and it was not true. 

That's how Tweek found himself asking about Kyle and Stan's relationship. The redhead just shrugged and looked at the ground. "I wish we were dating, but Stan freaks out anytime I suggest it. He is paranoid that I will dumb him like Wendy. I mean it's sweet that he doesn't want to lose me as a best friend, but I'm getting sick of waiting around for him to commit."

"And you shouldn't have to," Tweek answered. He usually was not the kind of person to give advice, especially when it came to love, but he usually did not get threatening video tape from blood thirsty gnomes. Well, maybe it was usually, after all he had three video tapes from them, but before that it had been unusual.

Kyle looked surprised. He arched an eyebrow giving Tweek a once over. "Do you really like me? Is that why you broke up with Craig?"

"No! I mean yes! Oh god I don't know!" Tweek freaked. There were just too many questions and Kyle was giving him funny looks. It was all just too much pressure.

"Calm down. I was just thinking that dating you wouldn't be so bad. I mean you're right I shouldn't have to wait around for Stan to grow some balls." Kyle explained.

"I had to wait around for Craig to have his balls reattached. Worse six months of my life, Token and Clyde tried to replace Craig with me. It was all too much pressure!" Tweek twitched. The experience had over shadowed his time as Kenny's replacement, but this experience was beginning to over shadow that one.

Kyle gently touched Tweek's shoulder. "That sounds rough. Thanks for the advice Tweek. I'm going to keep thinking about what you said, and maybe I'll have an answer for you."

"When!" Tweek panicked because he knew the gnomes were watching, waiting for him to mess up.

"Umm, maybe next week, I don't know." Kyle looked a bit frightened.

Tweek's eyes grew even wider then they normally were. He had to think fast. Kyle was going to mess this up for him and then all he did to keep Craig safe would be for nothing. He looked around the hall for some kind of help. That's when he spotted in. Stan and Kenny where heading their way.

Tweek turned back to Kyle. He grabbed the redhead and pulled him into a rough, hard, first kiss. He shifted his eyes over his shoulder to see if Stan was watching. The emo-jock looked like he was ready to bolt, but Kenny held onto him.

The blond closed his eyes and shifted closer to the kiss. He actually was a very good kiss, as he had spent the last two years practicing with Craig, and despite his usual anxiety, he was able to relax into the feeling of another man's lips against his.

But the lips were ripped away from him, before either of the boys could take the kiss further. Tweek opened his eyes to find a shocked Kyle pinned against the lockers by a pissed Craig.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Craig shoved his weight, which was not much, into Kyle winding the redhead. 

"Craig, stop it!" Tweek cried out. He felt so bad for Craig right now. He knew what was going through his ex's mind. He only wanted to protect Tweek from attention that Tweek usually did not want, but Craig's presence was only hurting everyone, most of all Craig. 

"He shouldn't take advantage of you Tweek," Craig growled. He sounded as pissed as he looked.

"He didn't. I-I kissed him," Tweek said. He looked down at his shoes. He felt like a big jerk. He knew his actions hurt Craig, they hurt Stan and Kyle, and they hurt him as well, but he knew deep down that his actions were justified because he was saving his friends from an early death. He just did not understand why he felt so horrible for doing something he knew was right.

After a few minutes, Tweek returned his gaze to Craig and Kyle. Both of the boys were looking at him, Craig looked shocked and hurt. Kyle looked confused and uncomfortable because Craig still had him pinned.

"You kissed him? First? You never did that with…me," Craig whole body sunk. He lost almost two inches in height. Craig probably felt as low as Tweek felt. Tweek understood that Craig felt that his actions were justified because he was protecting Tweek and Craig could not understand that Tweek did not need his protection.

"I'm sorry, Craig," Tweek shook. He turned from the two boys and ran out of the hall. He past Stan and Kenny, and he passed a bunch of other students who had stopped to watch. He did not know why running helped the situation, but Tweek felt like it did. It made what he and Kyle did seem wrong somehow, and hopefully it would make Stan realize what he had lost.

--

The door bell rang three times before either Ike or Kyle decided to move from their spots in front of the television. Kyle had let Ike pick the program and ever since then he had a strange glazed look over his eyes. Ike knew something was up but Kyle would never confide in him.

Ike looked over at Kyle after the third ring and realized that his older brother was not going to get the door. Kyle always answered the door because it tended to be for him. Today it looked like Kyle did not even hear it.

The young boy hopped up from the couch and went to answer the door. A boy around Kyle's age with blond hair and a blue shirt stood on the welcome mat.

"Is Kyle…AHH! Oh my god! A gnome!" Tweek exclaimed. He pulled his backpack off and began swinging it around madly. "Look I'm sorry I didn't finish breaking Stan's heart, but please don't kill Kyle!"

Ike had to duck several times to avoid being hit, and Tweek still managed to land several blows. "Ah stop! Kyle!" Ike ran into the house. He was a smart kid but he was small for his age and he knew he could not stand up to someone that was swinging as blindly as Tweek was.

Kyle snapped out of his trance and stepped in to his role as Ike's big brother. He stepped in between Ike and Tweek. He had to hold on to Tweek to get him to stop chasing his little brother but at least he stopped the attack. "What's going on?"

"That gnome is trying to kill you!" Tweek pointed across the room at Ike.

"That's my brother, he's not trying to kill me," Kyle tried to calm Tweek down.

"Ahh! Oh my god," Tweek reeled back, and out of Kyle's grip, "You're related to gnomes!" 

"No! Tweek, he's my brother, but he's adopted. He's not a gnome. He's from Canada," Kyle explained to the neurotic blond.

"Oh," Tweek sighed. He relaxed visibly and even dropped his backpack, "That explains why he looks so weird."

"Hey!" Ike chirped. He felt slightly offended when people made fun of his appearance. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Oh, I came over to find out if Kyle wants to start dating me," Tweek explained. 

Ike's eyes narrowed. He looked at his brother and then he looked at the blond. He did not want his older brother dating Tweek. He was crazy, and he had hit Ike. Plus, Ike really liked Stan. The older boy was always really nice to him and he made Kyle happy. 

When he looked at his brother he noticed that Kyle seemed flattered and interested. When he looked at Tweek he saw that the boy looked panicked and hopeful. Ike had a feeling that Cartman was behind this, and it might be partially his fault. He also knew that this whole prank was going to end up hurting Kyle. Ike knew he could not let this happen. His loyalty to Kyle was stronger then his attraction to older women. He had to do something.

Ike had to think fast. Kyle looked like he was ready to answer and Ike had to come up with something before he did. Good thing he was a genius because he was able to think faster then Kyle was able to answer.

"On! Evael mih tuo fo siht! I wnok s'ohw dniheb eht s'epat dna s'ti ton Eylk. Namtrac! Namtrac! Namtrac!" Ike spoke as fast as he could. It was hard to think forward, and then flip the words around to say them backwards, but again Ike had to thank his autographic memory. He was sure there was some mistake but Tweek understood him. At least he was sure he understood him say; Cartman. Kyle just thought Ike was being odd. After all Ike still announced loudly when he went poop.

Kyle turned around to give Ike a strange look. Ike smiled at his older brother but said nothing. He watched Tweek run out of the house and down the street. "What was that about?"

"I like Stan," Ike chirped.

"I like Stan too. That's why I was going to tell him that my answer was no," Kyle explained to his little brother. Ike shrugged. He was sure this would cause some sort of trouble for Tweek, but Ike could careless about something happening to Tweek.

--

"I can't believe he kissed Tweek," Stan mumbled to himself. He was sitting on a large boulder near the pond. He wished it was warm enough for him to skip rocks, but it was far from it.

"Hey Stan," Eric called. He waddled over to the boulder before saying anything else. "I bet you're really bumped about what happened at school today."

"Fuck off," Stan snapped. He did not want to talk about this with anyone let alone Cartman. He knew Eric probably just wanted to laugh at him and call him a fag.

Cartman ignored Stan and joined him on the boulder. He twiddled his thumbs for a few moments before speaking. "I just want to say, I'm sorry. I mean it must really suck to have your heart stolen like that in front of everyone. So I'm sorry."

Stan turned to look at Cartman. He could not believe what he was hearing, and he had to look to make sure it was really Cartman that was talking. "Are you kidding me?"

"No, Stan. I'm really sorry. And I want to make it up to you," Cartman explained.

"Umm how?" Stan looked did not trust Cartman, but he was still curious.

"I'll treat you to some coffee," Cartman offered.

Stan thought about it. Cartman was never this nice before, and he seemed pretty sincere. And he could use a cup of coffee. "Okay."

Cartman smiled. He stood up and gestured for Stan to lead the way. It only took about twenty paces for Stan to get suspicious. Cartman was still walking behind him, and he had stopped talking, that usually meant that he was planning something.

It was too late however. Cartman tackled Stan. It was a struggle to get Stan down but Cartman roshamboed him a few times until he was unable to fight. Then he dragged Stan to Jimbo's bomb shelter and brought him under ground.

"Cartman!" The brunette froze. He was just about to follow Stan down the ladder when he heard his name.

"Tweek?" Cartman looked around. He felt a little disoriented because he could not see Tweek.

"That's right!" Tweek stepped out from behind the tree line. "I know what you did. Kyle's gnome told me!"

"What are you going to do about it?" Cartman said. He watched as Tweek drew closer to him. As soon as he was in kicking distances, Eric kicked him in the nuts. He fell hard and fast and Cartman added Tweek to his collection.

--

The pieces were starting to come together for Craig. Two days ago he witnessed the love of his life kiss another guy. Then he had to relive that moment time and time again as he replayed the event in his head millions of times throughout the last two days. Something about the day seemed off; in fact something about Tweek seemed off for a while.

He still did not know what was off about Tweek. But depressed as he was, he had grabbed his step ladder and opened his vent to pull out his most valuable positions and they were gone. He knew someone had gotten into his room and stolen most of his things, which he had stopped being pissed about after Tweek broke up with him, but he did not know that the things in his vent had been taken until then.

He sat down on the step ladder and tried to think about this. He was not as smart as most kids, but he knew all of these things were clues. Tweek breaking up with him, Tweek acting weird, his things missing, his private possessions taken; only Tweek, Clyde, and Token knew about his vent-hiding place.

Slow an idea began to form. Tweek was acting weird because he took Craig's things. The idea was only half finished however because it was weird for Tweek to take his things. There had to be a reason why Tweek was acting weird. There had to be someone behind this.

"Oh," Craig's eyes widened. That was it. Someone was doing something to Tweek to make him act weird. Someone was taking advantage of Tweek's vulnerability and using it against Craig. "Oh, fuck." 

Craig stood up. He grabbed his only remaining jacket and hurried out of the house. He did not have the whole thought finished yet, but he was pretty sure he knew what was happening. Someone wanted to tick Craig off, and they knew that the best way, possibly the only way, was to take advantage of Tweek. He just did not know who, or why.

Craig wanted answers. He had one hunch to go on, so he started with that. He went over to Kyle's. Now he did not think Kyle would want to piss him off. He was pretty sure Kyle would not use Tweek to get to him, but it was his only lead.

Kyle stepped aside when he answered the door. "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry I hit you," Craig said. He tapped the snow from his shoes before entering. "I'm just really worried about Tweek. He's acting really weird."

"Yeah, I noticed. And it's okay. I would have hit you, harder, if you had kissed Stan," Kyle accepted Craig's apology. 

"I'll try to keep that in mind," Craig smiled. He knew Kyle could hit harder then him. In fact he was pretty glad that Kyle was a passive person because by all means Kyle would have been able to push him off and hit him. 

"Look, I know you don't have anything going on with Tweek. I have been thinking and I came to the conclusion that Tweek is acting this way because someone is making him. Tweek does not do well with bullies. I think someone might be taking advantage of his irrationalities." Craig explained as best he could.

"I have nothing to do with any of that, but I agree. The way Tweek has been behaving seems like it could be a result of someone forcing him to do it." Kyle glanced down the hall for a moment before turning back to Craig. "How about we go over to Tweek's? I bet the two of us can 'bully' the information out of him."

Craig flipped Kyle off. Then he shrugged. "Okay. I think that might work, but let's try to be nice."

"I'll be the bad cop you be the good one," Kyle suggested. He grabbed his gloves and headed outside with Craig. He let Craig lead the way to Tweek's the two boys spoke very little and not about anything important or interesting.

--

"Oh god my nuts hurt," Stan moaned. He felt like he was coming out of a drug induced coma. It took several more moments to realize that he was tied up to a surgical table. He could not move his legs or arms, only his head. He looked back and forth trying to figure out where he was, but it was impossible. 

"Oh good your up," Cartman came into view. He had a shit-eating grin on his face. 

"Cartman? Where am I?" Stan asked. He struggled with his binds, and realized for the first time that he was entirely naked.

"You're in your uncle's bomb shelter. It really is a blessing that he's so paranoid. No one will be able to hear you scream," Cartman smiled. He put a hand on Stan's thigh and rubbed it gently.

"What the hell? What are you planning to do?" Stan hissed. He tried to pull away from Cartman's touch but he could not.

"Oh god! My nuts hurt," A moan came from above Stan, or above Stan's head. Since Stan was on a table it was more likely that the moan came from behind Stan. 

"Oh good your up," Cartman left Stan's side. Stan was sure he went to stand over the other person in the room. Stan tried to get a look but all he could see was a tuff of blond hair. It narrowed down the people it could be, but Stan did not know who it was.

"Cartman! Where am I!" A panicked cry asked. Stan heard rattling and knew that the other boy was bound too.

"You're in Jimbo's bomb shelter. It really is a blessing that he's so paranoid. No one will hear you scream," Cartman repeated.

"Oh my god! You rounded up the gnomes! They're here to spoon my brains from my nose! Fuck! I should have known that the tapes were real. Oh god! I'm going to die!" 

"Tweek!" Stan called out. There was only one blond that would get that freaked out.

"St-stan? But, but why would Ike want to get rid of you?" Tweek voice floated over to him.

"Ike? Kyle's little brother?" Stan called back.

"Yeah, he's related to gnomes. They have us captured." Tweek explained.

"No! No, No! Ike isn't behind this. I just used him because he's an ugly-face Canadian and I knew you would think he was a gnome! I'm behind it. I behind it all. I wanted to get Craig back for ruining my Birthday! So I sent you those video tapes to get my revenge!" Cartman yelled. He was pissed off. He had worked so hard on his revenge and he wanted the credit.

"And why do you have me captured?" Stan asked.

"Because Stan, you cut me in the lunch line! And you bought the last Mr. Freezy. You don't even like Mr. Freezy's, and then you gave it to Kyle. KYLE! That fucking Jew gets everything. So I knew I had to seek my revenge on you too. At first I thought I could just break your heart, like I did to Craig, but it wasn't enough."

"Wh-what are you going to do?" Stan asked. He could hear Tweek's teeth chattering and he knew the blond could not speak. 

Cartman's face appeared in front of him and he was grinning even more. "Well I think the punishment should fit the crime. That's why I'm turning you, and Tweek into Mr. Freezy's."

Stan and Tweek screamed.

--

Craig and Kyle had already looked through Tweek's entire bedroom. They moved onto the basement. Craig insisted that there had to be some clue as to what happened to Tweek. 

"Craig I don't think we're going to find it. When did Tweek's Mom say he was going to get home?" Kyle asked.

"I didn't talk to his Mom. I just used the key he keeps under the mat." Craig explained.

"For someone that's so paranoid that's a really weird place to keep a spare key," Kyle said. 

"He thinks its reverse psychological," Craig said with a little sigh.

"You really like him don't you?" Kyle said. He started searching around again feeling renewed because of Craig's devotion.

"Kyle, I love him," Craig confessed. "I know everything about him, and he knows everything about me. I couldn't image a day without him. I don't know how I survived since he broke up with me."

"Maybe because you always knew it wasn't really Tweek breaking up with you," Kyle suggested. Craig shrugged in agreement. "So since you know everything about him, shouldn't you know all of his hiding spots? Any clues he has he probably did not leave lying around."

Craig flipped Kyle off, but his eyes widened. He ran over to the other side of the room and then he counted ten paces. He slammed his foot down on the floorboard and the end flung up. There under the floorboard was the clues they were look for. 

Kyle took the first tape and put it in the VCR. It took several minutes of black before the picture came into view. Then a creature ran out in front of the screen. 

"What was that?"

It ran across several times before it stopped. "It's a gnome!" Craig exclaimed.

"No it's not. That's my little brother," Kyle said. He looked really disappointed. He could not believe that his brother was behind this. He gave Craig an apologetic look. "I'm sorry."

"Let's just go talk to him." Craig said. The two boys left before they heard the message that was on the tape.

The two boys went back to Kyle's house, and Ike was in his room playing a video game when they got there.

Kyle immediately turned off the television and then the game. He sat down on the bed, and pointed to the spot next to him. Ike gulped he knew he was going to get a talk, and when Kyle came to lecture him Ike knew it was important and right.

Ike sat down on the spot and looked down at his shoes. He noticed the other boy that was with Kyle and he quickly figured out what was going on. He immediately burst into tears. "It's not my fault Kyle. He tricked me. I didn't want to do it. But he got his mom involved. She kept touching me inappropriately until I would do what he wanted me to do." Well it was partially true, and he knew Kyle would not believe him but he also knew that Kyle hatred for Cartman would override Ike's wrong doings.

"What does that mean?" Craig asked. He looked confused.

"It means the person responsible is Eric Cartman," Kyle explained.

"Is this about his Birthday?" Craig rolled his eyes. He flipped Cartman off even though he was not around to see it.

"Probably. Come on, let's go confront him." Kyle rolled his eyes. He felt it was best if he was around when Cartman had to be dealt with otherwise he might weasel his way out of it.

Craig nodded. The two boys left Ike's room without another word to the little boy. They were just outside Kyle's house when Kyle's phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mrs. Marsh." 

"No I haven't seen Stan." 

"You haven't seen him either, for how long!"

"No, I think I know where he is."

"Yeah, I will send him home when I find him."

"Uh- I love you too."

"Who was that?" Craig asked.

"That was Stan's mom. She hasn't seen Stan in two days. She wanted to know if he was with me," Kyle explained. "When was the last time you saw Tweek."

"Two days ago," Craig answered.

"Cartman's going to die," Kyle growled. 

--

Stan shivered. He was incased in a thin, hard lay of chocolate. Inside the chocolate shell Stan's chest, legs, and arms were swimming in vanilla ice cream. Only Stan's face, and his feet remained outside the ice cream bar. Tweek was in the same state as he was. 

Cartman was pacing in front of them. "Now I'm trying to decide. Should I have you wrapped and sealed, and delivered to your equals, or should I take the pleasure in eating you out myself?"

"Cartman you are so sick. You are not going to get away with this. We have had to be in here for several days! People are going to come looking for us," Stan argued. Tweek was still freaking out too much to talk, most of the time he was passed out because he hyperventilated. It did not help that Tweek had been detoxing since the third day in the bomb shelter.

"Well Stan, you've heard the saying revenge is a dish best served cold. Well, I just happen to take that saying literally. In the future you'll know better then to cut in front of me in the lunch line," Cartman growled.

"Do you even hear yourself talk? I cut you in line. Do you know how many times you cut Kyle and I in line and you got lucky because of it?" Stan argued. Sure he had not choice in his novelty fate, but he did not want to go down without a fight. He knew help would be here soon. Cartman went into great detail about the process it took to get Stan and Tweek to this state. 

First he had to encase them in vanilla ice cream. He deep freeze Tweek and Stan for 36 hours. Stan was impressed that they even survived it but he had a feeling that Cartman had just figured out how to bring back all of those cryogenically frozen bodies. Then he wrapped Stan and Tweek's head and feet in fire poof blankets. He then dipped them into a bat of chocolate. He had to do this several times until the lay of chocolate was thick enough not to break. Then he had to freeze them again so that the chocolate got hard. 

Stan was pretty sure they had been in his Uncle's bomb shelter for over a week, and it was not a pleasant experience. He just hoped that someone would look for them in here soon.

"Hey Ned, I think someone's been using this thing," Jimbo's voice floated into the inner workings of the bomb shelter just as Stan started praying again. 

Stan did not even hear the door open but when he heard his uncle's voice he called out, "Uncle Jimbo!"

"Stan?" Jimbo cried back, "Oh my gosh, everyone its Stan! Stan's down there. I bet the others are down there too."

"Eric honey, are you down there?" Mrs. Cartman's voice floated in.

"Mam' is that you? I-I feel faint," Cartman moaned pathetically, obviously hoping to get away with what he did.

"Shut up Cartman! When I get my hands on you, you're going to wish you had fainted!" Kyle voice rivaled his mouth and pieced into the room.

"Kyle!" Stan called out. "Help us!"

"We're coming down," Kyle called.

Craig appeared first. He stopped in his tracks. He did not even have time to glare at Cartman before he saw Tweek and Stan in their frozen treats. The only thing he could do was raise one middle finger in Cartman's direction.

"What the fuck!" Kyle yelled when he got into the room. "You turned my boyfriend into a popsicle!"

"Your boyfriend?" Stan perked up his head looking over at Kyle. "You want me to be your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, well, I was sort planning on it. I spent the last half a week helping Craig search for his boyfriend, and I decided that I'm not going to wait around for you anymore Stan," Kyle explained.

"Well you might have to, I'm a Mr. Freezy." Stan pointed out earning a little laughter from Kyle.

"Okay, I guess I'll let you off the hook, but just until you melt," Kyle explained.

Tweek eyes focused for the first time in five days. And the picture they brought him was of a lone middle finger sticking up in the air. After a few moments Tweek was able to focus on the bigger picture. "Craig!"

"Tweek," Craig closed the distance between him and Tweek. He tried to wrap his arms around Tweek but found it really awkward. So he settled for grabbing Tweek's sweet cheeks and giving him a big kiss. "I was so worried. And I'm not mad about what happen. Ike told me everything. I'm so glad you're okay."

"Okay! Craig, I'm an ice cream bar! I've been paranoid about strange things in my life, but even I'm not this crazy." Tweek exclaimed.

"You're not crazy, Tweek. You're perfect." Craig kissed him again. The two were force apart when the adults insisted on getting Stan, Tweek, and Cartman out of the bomb shelter.

It was a little bit embarrassing for Tweek because everyone in South Park could now see what he had become, and he had to be pulled along on a sled, because he could not walk as a Mr. Freezy. 

The only thing that kept him going was Craig, and the thought that this would all soon be over. Even if Cartman did not get punished by the adults, he would have to face both Craig and Kyle's wrath which was probably worse. So Tweek was able to rest assure that his life would go back to normal soon.

The townspeople of South Park had no says so to what they should do about the two ice-cream-boys. They did not think they should go to a hospital because they looked fine except for the fact that they were encased in ice cream, and they did not want to try and eat them because they felt that was rather rude. So the townspeople decided to go home and return to their normal life. 

This was just fine with Tweek. Craig pulled him the rest of the way to his house. Then he helped Tweek inside. Tweek's parents decided that it was for the best if Tweek was put in the bathtub until he was finished melt, this way he would not ruin the carpet.

Craig helped Tweek into the bathtub as he could not think of a better place to put Tweek. "Hey Craig, will you stay with me. I don't want to melt alone." Tweek asked after his boyfriend finished helping him. 

Craig sat down on the edge of the tub, putting a hand on Tweek's cheek. He leaned in with a soft smile on his face. "Hey I'm not going anywhere honey. I'll stop the world and melt with you." 


End file.
